This article is for all those couples who are tired, at home with no one to watch the baby, and craving some time with each other.
At-Home Dates for Parents
When you become a parent, your attention shifts from the entire world to this tiny human being that runs the show (or so it feels). This often means that with the focus on the baby you can feel disconnected from yourself and each other.
So, pull on your fancy sweatpants, because we are going to have a talk about date night, parents!
1. Cook something together
When was the last time you cooked a proper meal together? Put on your favorite music, place your baby in a rocker (or bassinet/crib), and make your favorite meal. Trying a new recipe is also a great idea to work as a team and have fun. Catch up while chopping, mixing, sautéing, and grilling. Reserve the desserts for later... if you know what I mean. 😉
2. Make use of the baby’s nap time
You may have seen in movies (or heard from well-meaning advice givers) that it’s time to get it on when the baby takes a nap. But the reality is that you can’t do much in that time. You are tired and often don’t want to do much more than scroll through your phone or take a quick shower. So, instead of feeling pressure to rush to the bedroom (and end up stopping midway because the baby woke up), try cuddling or just hanging out together. It can be much more relaxing, and you’ll be able to connect on an emotional level, eventually improving intimacy.
3. Late night chats
The baby is crying, the house is a mess, you’re stressed, and it seems like there's no time to connect with your partner genuinely. Daytimes are hectic for the majority of parents. They get so tired by the end of the day, that they don't even bother checking in with each other, let alone plan a date together. To maintain a healthy bond with your partner, you have to get creative and do what you can. Often underrated, late-night chats can really help strengthen your emotional connection with your partner. When the baby is asleep, put your phone down and treat that time as yours to enjoy as a couple.
4. Bring on the games
Playing video games, board games, or any other game you can play at home might sound basic and not so date-like, but anything that shakes things up a little bit is a good thing. Sure, you are adults, and playing games might sound silly. But, that is precisely the whole point of this activity – to let loose. Games allow you to have fun and take the pressure off. Plus, this is one of those things that you can do even if the baby is still up.
5. Do it on the patio or the balcony
No, I don’t mean THAT. But if the shoe fits, good for you. 😏 I’m talking about planning a mini picnic on the patio, balcony, or beside a window- whatever works in your set up. The idea is to have a different view when you connect with each other, talking, walking, stargazing, or sharing your favorite snack. Being stuck at home can be overwhelming at times; make use of the space you have that allows you to peek outside and gives you a break from the usual surroundings.
6. Work it out
Sweat, music, and moving your bodies together sounds like a date to me, right? By working out together, you can build trust and intimacy. You are not only helping each other become strong and self-aware, but you are also guaranteeing quality time together. Exercise is fantastic for you in many ways, so why not do it together? Plus, trying something new together is a great idea to feel like a couple again.
7. It’s movie night
Movie nights can be an excellent opportunity to bond with each other. You can schedule a movie date together that will give you something to look forward to as a couple or surprise your partner with a movie night when you have some time to spare. Curling up on the couch and sharing the experience of getting into the world of the movie/show is refreshing. You can watch a series or switch it up. It doesn’t have to be a heartfelt or Oscar-worthy movie. You can enjoy anything, as long as you both find it interesting.
8. Dance together
Yes, another way to get silly is dancing to your favorite songs. Nobody is asking you to be a ballroom dancer here. So, don’t be self-conscious about awkward dance moves. As the famous quote goes, “Dance like nobody's watching!” This works wonders to open up your body after a tiring day- You might feel some cracks here and there as you start jumping around. Feel the beat, dance, and let those endorphins rush through your body. Shake it, move it, and dance with your partner by your side and the baby in the lounger.
9. Romcom room service
Treat each other with massages, facials, and bubbly baths. I said romcom because you’ll likely be laughing the whole time- but that’s part of the fun. You can even role play as if you are a masseuse and your partner is your client. The room service may or may not have a “happy ending.” 😉 Have fun, let things flow, and enjoy every moment together.
10. DIY
It’s possible that you may not have the time and energy to do anything from the list above, but you can definitely find something to do together at home. There are a million chores around the house- washing dishes, cleaning, making the bed, doing laundry, going for groceries, etc. Doing the errands with your partner can make tedious tasks more enjoyable and quicker, while providing you with an opportunity to bond. And, they say couples who do chores together stay together. (Truth is, I don’t know if they say that, but it sounds good, right?)
TL;DR
Dating is an essential part of every romantic relationship, but it can feel hard (or near impossible) to make dates happen when you have a baby. At-home dates to the rescue! Try some (or all!) of the ideas above. Before your dates, spend a little time with yourself to get in the zone – practice some self-care, and change into something clean (comfy PJs are approved). Just spending 5 minutes on yourself can make a huge difference in uplifting your mood.
Quick tip- Take turns planning the dates, and remember that the point isn’t perfection. The goal is to have meaningful and intentional moments of connection. Keep it simple and genuine, and cherish every second with your partner.
